A Discovery Story
Sometimes we underestimate the value and the meaning of "FAMILY", and suddenly, things around us detract our attention to the truly important things in life, making us give the ones we love, only the tiny part of our week that we got left, putting them in last. The saddest part is when we realize that we were wrong, but the time is over, and it´s too late, we can't go back in time.
I started to work at age of 17, and since then, I´ve never stop working. I was feeling blessed for having a job that really made me happy, I truly enjoyed. Then I had the opportunity to collaborate in Musical Theater, that became my second passion, and quickly mi life was changed, and my week was a full time schedule with no "family weekends" or vacations.
I have to admit that I love what I do, and it is why it was so difficult for me to wisely sort my priorities. So, my family became my last priority, and music, my work, theater, friends and dreams were my everything. Now, I know we can have time for both worlds, and WE HAVE TO.
One day my grandma got sick; that kind of sickness that you can´t control, and there is no turning back. She was always (before I started to perform and worked in my "dreamed job") beside me and my cousins; she was the lovely kind of grandma that you see in movies, but also had an adventurous and fun side too. Once, in summer vacations, She took us all the grandchildren (we were 11 teens then, I still don't know how she dared to takes us all :D) to our first plane travel to Mexico City, and because of her I discovered Musical Theater in that travel. I remember how She loved it, so, one day she spent some of her savings in Theater tickets for all of us. It was my first play ever! It was amazing! I still got the feelings of that day, and how I was watching the show and thinking: "WOW! I want to do that, I need to do it!" and how my heart was beating with the music trough all the musical numbers. I think I owe her many things that I´m living right now (things that will be always dedicate to her)
So, I was there, sitting at the hospital room, looking at the most caring and bravest woman, lying in bed, stopped because of a stroke. I knew she was awake just because the noise of the tubes that were connected to her throat, and the little "involuntary moves" that she made sometimes with her eyes, or her hands. In that moment I was thinking: Why didn't I spent more time with her? Why did I miss all the special days? Why did I never said: "No, I cant, I have made plans already with my family"? All these questions came to me like cold water, but it was late.
That night, back in my home, I was feeling so blue, and then came to me this need of doing something to her, tell her somehow that I have always loved her, and always will. Say thanks to her, and let her know everything would be fine in the end; so I decided to write and record a song for her, just changing the lyrics of an existing one, using a karaoke track and my laptop to do it (not a professional recording, just a gift I wanted to do quickly before she was gone) And I did.
So, in the next afternoon, when my turn of watching over her came, I carefully put my earphones in her ears, and said to her: "There is something I want you to listen Grandma, I wrote a song for you." I held her motionless hand, and trying to holding back my tears, heard the song with her, where I was saying something like "Even if I couldn't see you, or touch you, I will still feel you. Don't be afraid. I know you can hear me even though doctors say no, and I know you will always be here with me. I can feel it! and I will always love you"
TU ESTAS AQUĆ - Song For my Grandma
Doctors had told us before, She couldn't hear us, or understand anything, because her brain was no longer working, they called "brain death", but despite what they said about her condition, I know she was listening to my song, I truly believe that she was there with me, and she understood every word.
Two days later, she passed away, and even when it was a hard time, we felt peace. She was already resting without any fear or pain, and her face was reflecting that peace that I'm sure she is already enjoying.
Now, almost 5 years later, the songs still gives me chills, but It's one of my favorites because what it means; and I feel blessed to have had a Grandmother like her, for all that she taught me, for the music, something that we shared; and all the love she gave us. I feel so lucky and grateful to have been her granddaughter, and finally I'm glad that her memory always remembers me the truly important things in life.
Luisa Emilia Oliveros